Family

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Was your family informed about what was happening?
First of all, I could not talk to them because we did not have a telephone system. We did have a telephone, but it was very expensive. But before they arrested me I told my mom and called my dad, and told them that I would probably get a job. My mother was happy because she was in a very bad situation - the economic situation of my family was very bad and our finances had almost run out. For example, the last month of food for me in the school, we had to pay for the food. My mom sold her wedding ring in order to make my last payment for food. So whatever job I would get would be good for my family. I wouldn’t need to have any financial support from my family. She was expecting that maybe I could get a job. But later she did not get an answer; I was arrested and I was not allowed contact with anyone outside the prison. The iron gate was locked.

After two weeks, I was in the so-called confession and self-criticism study class with other prisoners and finally they arranged for me to join the labor team. The first thing I did was talk to the so-called “captain” of the police. I asked, “Can I write a letter to my family?” He said, “Yes, you can since you are a new prisoner, but only one page, and then give it back to me.” So the next day I wrote a letter to my mom. I said I was sorry that I was put in the labor camp and sentenced to life. But I did not know what was going on, because I never got a response form my family. Fifteen years later I asked my sister where my mother was. And she said she passed away fifteen years before, and would I come back to return her urn of ashes? I got a special permit to go back to my family to get my mom’s ashes. 

What happened with your father?
My father was tortured and later he died in 1980. He retired as an English teacher from the university, but he was pulled out from the residential community and every day swept the street, he had to clean the street. During the revolution he had a terrible life until he finally died in 1980. My brothers are another story. My youngest brother was only seven or eight years old when I left home. He did not know about these things. In 1968 he was 18 years old and I had been in the labor camp for eight years and had no connection with him. Only in 1980, twenty years later, I returned to my home and my sister told me that my youngest brother had a problem. I asked what was the problem. In 1968, my youngest brother went to a far-away remote area in a small village. He didn’t want to stay in Shanghai, he just wanted to go to the countryside and receive reeducation from the poor peasants. He said he wanted to follow Chairman Mao, become a Red Guard, and wanted to separate from his counter-revolutionary family and become a new reborn revolutionary. What could we do? My father said, “Okay, I am a counter-revolutionary. You can go wherever you want and find your future.” My brother was in the village, but he also wanted to become a Red Guard, become a revolutionary. So he was pretty active in the village doing propaganda and printing work. The Red Guards treated him differently. Although he was not a Red Guard, it seemed that he was good for the revolution, so he felt pretty happy. At that time everybody in the whole country was respecting Chairman Mao, and everywhere they had Chairman Mao portraits and quotation books. So every morning when they had to get up and whenever lunch happened, they had to swear and say, “Long live Chairman Mao! Long live Chairman Mao!” and the whole country did it. So when my brother returned to his dormitory he saw that the dormitory’s portrait of Mao that was dirty. He did not know how it became dirty, so right away he reported it to a Red Guard headquarters, saying that maybe someone did something wrong. At that moment in China, many people had no way to fight against the Communist Party. They could only scratch a Mao portrait or damage a Mao statue to express their opinion, that’s it - only quietly or secretly, nobody dared to do it. Even in 1971, the Chinese government executed more than 100,000 people because they damaged Mao portraits and said bad things against Mao. This was a very serious counter-revolutionary crime. So, my brother found out that some people were doing something wrong and he reported it to the Red Guards and they came back to investigate it. Nobody knew what happened. In the small villages and small counties, this was a very very serious crime; it was the biggest crime in this small county! A week later, my brother found another Mao portrait in the dormitory bathroom that was broken, but maybe the wind had blown it in. Of course I don’t know if this is true, but my brother reported it again. They investigated it and said that he probably did it, that my brother did it. He said, “No, I only reported it! I hate that! I want to protect Mao and I am loyal to Chairman Mao and loyal to the revolution, I would not do this.” They said, “No, you have been hiding deep within our village. You are probably a counter-revolutionary because your brother is a counter-revolutionary in the labor camps, your father is a counter-revolutionary, and you come from the bourgeoisie class. That’s why you basically hate the Communist Party. That’s why you damaged the Mao portrait and reported, because actually you did it!” They taught him a hard lesson. Many times they made him go to struggle meetings and beat him. Finally, my brother lost consciousness and became mentally disabled. But we didn’t even know if he was really mentally disabled, maybe he was just pretending. We were not sure. My youngest brother was caught eating some people’s shit. He did not know how to feed himself or how to work. He had lost his wits. Finally the Red Guard found out that he was in a really bad state, so they removed him, took him out and sent him to the bus station and told him to leave the village. We did not know what happened, but after two months he came back and returned to Shanghai, but he had become completely mentally disabled. In 1980 when I was in China, I saw him, but there was nothing I could do. One day, in 1981, he walked out of the house and was killed by someone in the Beijing police. Finished, dead.

I have a couple of sisters. Well, one sister was in America. She came here around 1949 or 1950. First she went to Hong Kong and then she came here. She totally separated from the family and I don’t know what happened to her. You know, when you become a counter-revolutionary rightist, everyone has to cut off relations with you and treat you as the enemy, otherwise they will get in big trouble. So my sister, you could say we are sisters, but actually we have no connection, even until today. The other two sisters have died, passed away. I am totally alone, my father has passed away, my mother committed suicide, and my brothers and sisters completely separated from me. The environment did not allow you to have contact with any other person.